January 2011


This is going to be a happy post for many reasons.  I will list these reasons because as you already know, I am freakin lazy.  Here we go:

Reason #1?  Bed bugs will soon be history.  That’s right!  Those creepy little blood suckers will soon be exterminated.  I have a bed bug prep company coming Thursday to get my apartment completely ready for the bed bug exterminator, who will hopefully be here Friday.  The only bad thing about this ordeal (besides the fact that I have BED BUGS) is the fact that I’ll have to miss some classes on Thursday.  My roomie and I are taking turns staying at the apartment while the guys are here (just in case some of them have sticky fingers), but I’m still going to miss a few classes.  Oh well.  At least the bed bugs will be gone soon!

Reason #2?  I have a summer internship!  I am so freakin happy right now.  I sent an email with my cover letter and resume to a hospital last night and was offered an unpaid position this morning.  Why the super fast turn around?  Because I’m awesome, that’s why.*

Reason #3?  I’ve been dating!  Like, for realz!**  I went on a “date” with boy #1 yesterday.  We had brunch at a really cute place in Philly, had a really nice conversation, and he even paid for me.  I also have a couple more dates planned.  Tomorrow I’m meeting boy #2 for drinks at a bar in Old City, and I’m meeting boy #3 for lunch on Saturday.  I know, I’m shocked too.  I hardly ever date, and now I have three dates in one week!  If all goes well with these guys I may give them official names (better than boy #1, 2, 3…especially since they’re all older than me) and fill you guys in on the details.

*Ok, I lied.  It’s actually because I worked at this hospital for over a year as a patient care assistant and spoke with the head attorney several times about law school when I was working on applications.  It also helps that he knows my mom (who is, by the way, taking complete credit for this).  Still, I like to think it’s because I’m awesome.

**People still say that, right?  Shut up.

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So after my initial freak out Thursday night, I decided to spring into action.  I immediately started de-cluttering my room.  I threw out everything that was under my bed, just in case bugs or eggs (yuck!) or the like were hiding inside.  I vacuumed my entire room, paying close attention to the area around my bed.  Unfortunately, since it was pretty late at night and I did not have everything I needed to attack these bugs, I was limited in what I could do.  So I went to bed.

Yup, that’s right.  I went to bed.  Everything I read online told me that if I moved and slept on the couch or somewhere else in the apartment, those bugs would just follow me.  The infestation would spread from room to room.  I had to sleep in my own bed, even though I knew they’d come for me.

I woke up yesterday morning with a few more bites, but nothing too serious.  I did absolutely zero work the night before (freakin bugs) so I went to school a little early.  I told my professors that I wasn’t prepared for class (which hardly ever happens) and the reason why.  They were all really understanding about it.  My property professor even went so far as to tell me that it was a big epidemic, and how apartments are really susceptible.  Yes, yes, I know, I’m a statistic now.  Sigh.

I also made sure to call my apartment manager.  They told me that (surprise!) they’ve had this problem before.  Well, thanks for letting me know!  But they are going to pay for the extermination, so at least I don’t have to worry about that.  The bed bug company is coming to inspect Monday morning.  I’m just happy I managed to bag some “proof.”  You know, in case my various bug bites aren’t enough.  My apartment manager also gave me a number for a company that helps you prepare your apartment for the extermination.  There are tons of things you have to do.  You have to remove everything from the walls and put them in a clear plastic bag, bag everything on your shelves, in your drawers, etc.  You also have to wash everything (clothes in your closet/dresser, sheets, blankets, etc.).  I was planning on doing this all by myself.  But since I’ve been starting to feel overwhelmed about the bed bugs and all the work I have to do before they can be exterminated, my parents have graciously offered to pay for the bed bug prep people.  I’m very happy…one less thing to worry about!  So hopefully they’ll be here and have everything ready by the end of the week.  One thing I did do…I bought myself a bed bug mattress protector.  They’re supposed to stop any bugs that are currently “residing” in my mattress from coming out and biting me during the night.  I think it worked last night, since I didn’t notice any new bites this morning.  Hopefully my luck continues!

Oh, and three day weekends rock.  Just saying.

First year of law school.  Full of studying like crazy, fearing the socratic method, lots of caffeine and very little sleep in general, and….bed bugs?

Yes that’s right.  Bed bugs.

(Those of you who don’t like hearing/seeing lots of curse words may want to stop reading).

Those little fuckers.  That’s right, they found their creepy crawly way into my apartment.  I’ve woken up with various red marks on my body.  A line of red bites on my left arm, a cluster on my neck (attractive, right?), a bunch around my belly button, and random marks all over my legs.  But I was not sure, because, you see, bed bugs would not dare infest MY apartment.  No, they like to infest New York City apartments, dirty little hotels, and perhaps college dormitories.

Not MY apartment.

Those little fuckers.

At first I was in denial.  I did some web searches.  What could possibly leave red marks all over my body in the middle of the night?  Bed bugs were the first option listed.  But this could not possibly be a bed bug infestation.  For one thing, I didn’t have that many bites.  The pictures listed showed people with bites all over their body.  Mine weren’t that bad.  They also claimed that their bites were incredibly itchy.  Some of mine were itchy, but for the most part I found I could ignore them.  But still, I decided to research them a bit more.  Apparently they like to hide in your mattress, and leave behind little black trails (their excrement, which also happens to be their victim’s blood).  I couldn’t find anything on my mattress, even after flipping it over.  So I went to bed, happy to see that my fears were unfounded.

Those little fuckers.

I woke up the next morning with more bites.  What the hell?!  I searched my mattress again, only to find nothing.  I then had a thought…what if they decided to hide in my box springs?  So I called my roommate for help (she who suffered ZERO bug bites), and we flipped the box spring over.

Those little fuckers.

I found them.  I found one of their skins, hanging underneath my box spring.  Now I knew.

I was under attack.

Well, fine, I can handle this, they’re just itty bitty bugs.  That happen to attack you in the middle of the night.  When you’re peacefully sleeping.

So now I’m doing an all out attack.  You want to bite me?  Fine, lets DO this.  I’m going to make sure every last one of you fuckers goes down.  Because I don’t like being bit.  I don’t like it when something hides in my bed and sneak attacks me.  You little fuckers are going down.

You’ve been warned.

Lauren’s New Year’s Resolutions:

1.  Exercise more.  This is probably on the top of every list, and is usually the resolution that everyone gives up on after a few weeks.  But!  I’m still adding it to my list, because I really, really, really need to exercise.  Like, seriously.  I used to be so active in high school, and even stuck to an exercise routine through college.  Since then I’ve gotten lazy, and it’s starting to show.  Time to change!

2.  Lose weight.  This will hopefully happen because of my commitment to #1.  Here’s the ugly truth:  I’m starting to get plump.  NOT GOOD.  I’ve gained about 20 lbs since college, and I wasn’t happy with my weight then.  So the pounds definitely need to go.  My relatives on my dad’s side of the family tend to be, well, rather large.  My grandma was obese and my aunt is obese (even after an operation).  I’m not obese, just  bigger than I’d like.  So time to work on it!  I want to lose the 20 lbs I’ve gained since college.

3.  Date.  Yup, this goes on the list too.  (And btw, how sad is it that I have to put it on the list?  Answer:  very sad).  I have a confession to make…I am 24 years old and I have never been in a relationship.  I’ve dated, but it’s never progressed very far.  I’ve always been focused on studying and school, so I put dating on the back burner.  This year is going to be different!  Last semester I’ve gone out (more frequently than I usually do), and have met guys.  But those guys were usually not interested in my dazzling personality, if you know what I mean.  So I’ve taken charge of the situation, and have signed up for an online dating site.  I figure if the site works, I’ll be a happier Lauren.  And if it doesn’t work, then I’ll have plenty of juicy stories to tell on my blog.  So it’s a win/win.

4.  Try to be easier on myself.  I am really hard on myself.  I’m not smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough, etc.  I’m always shocked when I find out I did well on an assignment, or when a cute guy starts flirting with me.  This needs to stop.  I think it’s important to realize my limitations, but constantly critiquing my faults is just going to make me depressed.

5. Enjoy life more.  In general I am a happy person.  But situations like what I mentioned in #4 bring me down, and cause me to miss out on things.  Example:  Sometimes I don’t go out with friends, because I feel like I have too much work to do and can’t afford going out.  STUPID.  Life is short, and I’m going to enjoy every second of it.

So those are my resolutions.  What are yours?